I'm not what I'm suppose to be

I'm typing this out while listening to The Fray - How to save a life.. This is one of few songs that I can listen over and over again throughout the day.. Wishing myself can play the piano and sings this on every sunday morning.. "And I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life".. Amongst my loved ones, I don't want to loose any.. But yet, no one could escape with death, that is for sure..

Anyway, back to the topic, I'm not what I'm suppose to be.. I don't know what exactly runs through my mind about the topic itself, but since this body is almost 30 years old now, you slowly begin to figure out what you want the most in life.. One of my friend said "kan best kalau dapat duit jatuh dari langit.. Duduk rumah takyah gi kerja.." Well, what will I do if really money fell from the sky in front of me? I'll just walk away then.. Why? Momma once said "don't take what is not yours.." Apart from that, that is not my goal in life.. My goal is not to take whatever money in front of me and live at home without doing anything.. Well, that is just not me..

I want to spend my live besides my loved ones, Honey, Mareesa and family members.. Every seconds counts then.. I don't have all the time in the world just to waste it in this office.. Like they care about my life then.. They can always find replacements if really I failed to come to the office when tomorrow comes..

I want to hear more of their laughs, more of their stories, answer all their questions, and story to them stories of my life let it be they've heard it before.. Thought them what I've learn, and urge them to hear my 'football and Arsenal' stories, though they might not have any interest on it at all..

Doing my own business, take more pictures, doing more sales, saving more money then.. And above all, I want to visit more mosques, and getting closer to اَللّهِ..

It is beyond any doubt on this, I doa to اَللّهِ so that I'll have all the strengths in the world for my dreams..
آمِيّنْ… آمِيّنْ… يَ رَ بَّلْ عَلَمِيّنْ

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